


Wishing on Satellites

by prince_yoongi



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Constellations, Dreams, Drinking, Kissing, M/M, Plans For The Future, Strangers to Lovers, Underage Drinking, i still dont know how to use the tags, kind of ig lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 18:52:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8928988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prince_yoongi/pseuds/prince_yoongi
Summary: It's the night before graduation and Dan is suddenly realizing that he's not prepared for the future. He runs into Phil, an annoying kid from school, who ends up showing him that Dan doesn't have to have everything figured out.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my favorite things that I've ever written. I wrote it a few months ago and, at the time, it was the longest story I'd ever written. I thought of it while listening to Satellites by All Time Low (Although the song doesn't really had anything to do with the story lol) But anyway, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it :) Thank you for reading!

People like to dream of the future. They like to dream of what their lives will be like when they graduate high school, when they graduate college or university. They spend their time fantasizing about the people they'll meet when they're out in the 'real world', or what they want to be when they grow up.

I think it's a waste of time

I wish I had done it more.

It was the night before graduation. The night before everything was going to change. After tomorrow, nothing was ever going to be the same again. I would be headed off to Uni, where I was going to become a lawyer. I was going to get a degree, and work at a law firm. Then I was going to meet a beautiful girl and we would fall I love and have children. We were going to be happy.

I was going to be happy.

Why wasn't I happy?

"So, Dan" my grandma said with a proud smile. "You're going to become a lawyer" she sounded impressed. "I admire you're courage. It takes a strong person to be willing to go through all those classes and take all those exams to become one" I felt like I was going to throw up. "It's going to be a long seven years for you. Or, maybe ten" everyone around the table smiled at me. My stomach was churning.

I didn't want to do this. I couldn't do this. Why didn't I think about this. I was so worried about studying, and stressing over test scores that I didn't even think about what was going to happen when I actually graduated.

I forgot to think.

"Have you got your acceptance letter from any Universities yet?" my mom asked. I felt my eyes fill up with tears, but I quickly blinked them away.

"N- no" I stuttered nervously. I had sent applications to every University near here with a decent law program, and none of them had sent anything back. It didn't help that I procrastinated until the very last second to send them out.

"Oh" she pursed her lips. "I'm sure it's fine, Honey. They don't start sending them out until around graduation time anyway. They probably just haven't gotten to yours yet" I knew that was a lie. Everyone in my class had gotten their acceptance letters already.

My family continued to talk about me, and my future. My parents were bragging about my test scores, and how well I did in school my whole life. Like it was some kind of great thing that I was good at memorizing things.

They were talking over each other, and getting louder each passing second. It was like they were competing over who was more impressed with my academic achivements. They were acting like I was already gone. Like I was already a successful lawyer.

My face felt kind of numb, and I pushed my food around my plate.

"So, Dan" my grandfather said, interrupting my parents. I looked up at him with pleading eyes. If anyone could say something to make me feel better, it was him. "It sounds like you have your whole future planned out" he said proudly. "But just in case..." I didn't like where this was heading. "Do you have any backup plans?"

I felt my heart stop in my chest.

"A... backup plan?"

"Yes, you know. Just in case this whole lawyer thing doesn't work out" he smiled encouragingly. I swallowed thickly as my head stared pounding.

"No" I choked out. His face fell.

"Oh" I found practically see the disapointment pulsing out of him. "That's alright" he said with thin smile. "It's not to late" It's not to late.

It's not to late.

I was hardly breathing at this point. I struggled to take shallow breaths, and the air felt thick. I could feel myself sweating.

It's not to late. It's not to late to come up with a backup plan for when I fail. When I fail. I'm going to fail.

My fork fell out of my hand, making a loud noise as it hit my plate. Everyone's eyes were on me.

"Sweetie?" my mom started to put her hand on my shoulder, but I abruptly stood up, knocking it out of the way.

"I can't do this" I turned around, knocking my chair over, and ran out of the house.

I ran.

And ran, and ran, and ran.

I ran until I couldn't feel my feet. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest that I thought it was going to burst. I didn't stop until I was so tired I thought I was going to collapse.

I put my hands on my knees and sucked in a breath. My lungs were burning and I felt light headed.

How far did I run?

I took a few more deep breaths and wiped the sweat off my forehead. The breeze felt good on my aching body. I stayed like that for a minute and waited for my heart rate to go back to normal.

After I caught my breath, I straightened up, and looked around. I had to be only a few blocks from my house, but I didn't recognize the street. I didn't want to turn around and go home, but I really didn't want to get lost. So, I begrudingly turned around and started to head back the way I came. I was only a few steps when I heard someone call my name.

"Dan?" I spun around and saw a kid from my school.

Just my luck.

The annoying loner kid from school finds me.

I knew that was mean of me to call him annoying, I'm sure lots of people found me annoying. Plus I didn't really know him that well, but he talked constantly, and to anyone who would listen. He didn't have any friends in school, so he drifted from circle to circle until they would get tired of him.

"Dan, what are you doing out here?" he asked, walking towards me. I noticed that he had a dog with him.

"Um," I wiped off the sweat that was trailing down the side of my face. "Walking" he frowned and looked me over. I took a few seconds to recall his name. Phil. His name was Phil.

"Do you normally get that out of breath when you walk?" I gave him a look.

"Maybe"He pressed his lips together to suppress a laugh.

"I'm out here for the fresh air" he explained. "And to walk Thor" I looked down at his dog. He had a cute little Shiba Inu. The dog sat down and looked at me.

"Can I pet him?" I asked. I couldn't help it. I loved dogs so much.

"Go head. He's nice" I leaned down at pet him. He wagged his tail happily, and licked my hand. "So what are you really doing out here?" Phil asked. I glanced up at him. I don't think I had ever had an actual conversation with this guy. The only time I interacted with him was one day in the hallway he somehow ended up walking next to me, and we had a one-sided conversation about how hard the maths test was that day.

"Walking" I said again, stubbornly. I wasn't about to tell him that I just ran out of my house because I was freaking out about my future.

"Right. Walking" he said dubiously. "So you weren't freaking out about graduation?" I opened my mouth and then closes it again.

"How did you know?" I asked as I stood back up.

"That's what I'm doing"

"Really?" I couldn't believe that he was freaking out about graduation. Though he was annoying, he seemed like he had everything together. I even heard he got accepted to the college that he wanted.

"Did you really think I was out here for the fresh air?" he asked dubiously. I cracked a smile.

"I guess not" I bit my lip and looked around. The neighborhood I was in now was huge. The houses were huge. They all looked really expensive, with their huge evenly trimmed lawns and beautiful flower gardens. "It's really quiet out here" I commented. Even though the sun was just beginning to set, there was no one outside.

"Not many people live here anymore. It's too expensive" Phil commented. "Plus most people are having dinner right now" I looked down awkwardly.

"Right" I shuffled my feet. "I should... probably head back" I looked over my should, back the way I came. I had no idea where I was, or which way I had come from. I spun in my place a few times, and Phil gave me a weird look.

"Where do you live?" he asked. I shot him a look. He snorted. "I just want to know how far you have to walk. You look like you just ran a marathon" I crossed my arms defensively.

"I do not!" he eyed my sweat drenched shirt skeptically. I sighed in defeat. "I live on Third Street" I told him. He nodded, impressed.

"That's like, almost a mile from here" I gaped at him.

"Seriously?" I asked.

"Yeah, you must've been running on a lot of adrenaline" he said. "Because, no offense, but there's no way you ran that far otherwise"

"Yeah, you're probably right" I rubbed my arms, suddenly aware of how cold it was.

"Do you want to come to my house and call someone?" He asked.

"No" I said, still looking around trying to remember which way I had came.

"Come on, you look cold"

"I'm not cold" I lied. I was shivering now. The adrenaline had completely left my body, and I was left feeling cold and tired. My legs were shaking now, whether it was from the pain, or the cold I couldn't be sure.

"Yes you are" Phil put his hand on my shoulder. "Come to my house to warm up. You can stay there, or call someone to pick you up" I really didn't want to go with him, but I also really didn't want to walk all the way back home. I wasn't even sure if I knew how to get there. Plus it would be really late by the time I walked all the way back, and I wouldn't feel very safe walking home alone in the middle of the night.

"Fine" I agreed reluctantly. "But won't your parents mind that you're being a strange person off the street into your house?" I'm sure they wouldn't be thrilled that their son was bringing home a stranger.

"They're not home" he shrugged. "And besides, you're not that strange" he joked.

"Thanks" I said dryly as I followed him back to the sidewalk. "Where are they at?" I asked after a few seconds. I wasn't trying to pry, I just wanted to keep the conversation going. Every time it got quiet my mind started to go back to freaking out. I was too tired to think about that right now.

"Fuji" Wow.

"Really?" Phil nodded "Wait, will they be home for graduation?"

"Um... no" he looked down at his feet as we walked. "They probably won't. I'm not really sure though. They travel a lot, and they don't really tell me when they're coming and going"

"That must be hard" I kind of felt bad for him. He never really had any friends in school. He was just... there. And now that I knew his parents were never around, I kind of understood why he was like he was. He wasn't trying to be annoying all the time, he was just lonely.

"What am I gonna do about it?" he said with a half-hearted smile. I didn't know how to answer that.

We walked in silence back to his house. When we reached it, I made note of how huge it was. I was really dark out, but from what I could see it looked really nice. And the front yard bigger than my entire house.

We walked up the path and Phil unlocked the door, then bent down and took the leash off of Thor.

I took a moment to look around the room. The entryway led straight into the living room, which was very large, but scarcely decorated. There was a couch, a tv, and a few chairs, but no pictures on the wall, or rugs on the floor.

Phil cleared his throat behind me. He had taken his jacket off, and I saw that he was wearing a Captain America shirt. "My parent's didn't think we would be here long" he said. I furrowed my eyebrows. He gestured around the room. "I saw you looking" he explained. "They didn't think we would be here long, so they didn't bother decorating"

"Oh" I said stupidly. I knew that Phil had been here since we were at least Second years. But maybe he moved sometime since then.

"Yeah. I mean we've lived here since I was a First year. But, to be fair, they haven't been here much. They only complain about it on the holidays that they're actually here" I felt my heart squeeze. I felt bad for him. I wasn't that close with my parents, but at least they had always been around.

"That must be boring" I said. "Living in this big house, all alone" He smiled thinly. Maybe things would be easier for me if I was alone all the time. If my parents weren't around all the time, constantly making sure I was working on something.

"I had my brother, Martyn. He stayed here until he graduated a few years ago" he chewed on his lip. "I manage though" I turned back and looked around the room again. "Hey, are you thirsty?" he asked me. My throat felt dry and itchy, but I shook my head.

"No, I'm okay" I lied. I was to awkward to say yes.

"Okay. Well, I'll show you the bathroom, and you can change into one of my shirts" I felt my face flush.

"Thanks" I muttered. He lead me up the stairs, and down the hall to his room. I stood in the doorway as he rummaged around in his dresser.

His room was fairly clean. There was a pile of clothes on the floor and a few stacks of comic books and dvd's on his desk, but everything else was mostly picked up. His bed spread was green and blue checkered, and he had plain white walls.

"Nice room" I said politely. Phil laughed shortly.

"Yeah, go ahead. Make fun of it like everyone else" I frowned.

"I wasn't making fun of it. I just said it was nice" Phil leaned up, with a shirt in his hand.

"Oh," he blinked. "Sorry. I'm just used to people making fun of how nerdy it is" I admit, the Buffy posters were a little much, but the rest of his room seemed pretty normal to me.

"It's not that nerdy" I said. He smiled.

"Yeah, it is" he handed me the shirt and, pointed me to the bathroom. I thanked him, and went in. I peeled off my sweat stained shirt. I washed up a bit, and pulled Phil's plain long sleeved black shirt over my head. It was a bit big for me, and the sleeves were too long, but it was comfy. I held my arm up to my nose and smelled it. It smelled like lavender.

I quickly lowered my arm down when I realized what I was doing.

After fixing my hair in the mirror, I emerged from the bathroom. I walked down the stairs, and saw Phil sitting on the couch, with Thor lying next to him.

"Hey, thanks for the shirt" I said. I sat down on the couch, and noticed that Phil had brought two glasses of water in. I licked my lips, but didn't grab it.

"No problem" he smiled. We both sat in awkward silence for what felt like an hour before Phil cleared his throat again. "Ah, do you need to call someone?" he asked. "Not- that I'm kicking you out. You're welcome to stay as long as you want. I just want to make sure that no one's out looking for you" he said.

"I don't care" I said bitterly. Phil blinked in surprise.

"You don't care that they don't know where you are? Or that they're probably worried about you?" I shook my head.

"Let them worry about me for a while. Maybe they'll think about what they said" it was like a gate opened up in my mind, and everything from the past few hours came flooding back. The reason I ran. The reason I was here.

I started to feel sick again.

"Oh god" I hunched over and rested my head on my knees. My chest tightened, making it hard to breath. I tried to take a few deep breath, and then started to sit back up again. Phil's hand was out, holding a glass of water out to me. I took it graciously and gulped the whole thing before leaning back down.

"What happened?" he asked. I pulled on the collar of the shirt. I felt trapped. I could feel myself starting to sweat.

"I- I don't want to talk about it" I struggled for breathe again, and felt panic bubbling up inside of me. Phil looked like he was freaking out. "I think- I think I'm... I'm having a panic attack" I said between pants of breath.

"What?" Phil stood up suddenly, almost knocking the coffee table over. "Really?" I nodded silently. Everything felt hot, and I couldn't breathe. "I- I don't... what do I do?" he asked. I shook my head. I didn't know.

"It's hot" my voice cracked.

"Do you need some more water? Do you need me to call someone? Do you... I don't-" he shook his head in frustration. "I don't know what to do! Do you need some fresh air?" I nodded frantically. I kept pulling on the collar of the shirt, as if it was going to help. "Alright, let's go outside then" Phil gently grabbed my arm and led me outside. I pushed him to make him go faster. He led me through the kitchen, and out the back door. I heard Thor's footsteps behind us. 

I took a shakey breath when we got outside. It was even colder than it was before, but it felt good. My entire body was shaking as I struggled to calm myself down. Phil's hand was still on my arm. He was so warm.

After a few minutes of standing there with Phil's arm around me, I was finally feeling better. I collapsed on the ground and let out a sigh of relief. I laid my head in the grass, and felt Phil sit down next to me.

"Does that happen often?" he asked after a beat of silence.

"Uh, no" I opened my eyes and stared up at the night sky. "That's never happened before" I admitted. My heart had yet to slow down, but at least I could breath again. My arms felt like jello, and I was sure if I tried to stand up again I would fall over.

"What caused it?" he pulled some grass out of the ground and slowly let it fall back. I turned my head and watched him. The grass tickled the back of my neck as I moved. "If, you don't mind my asking"

"I'm scared about tomorrow" I don't know why I was telling him this. I don't know why I was here. Out of all the places in the world I could end up, it was his street. Out of all the people I could've met tonight, it was him.

Maybe it was fate.

"Graduation?"

"Yeah" I put my arms behind my head, and looked up at the stars. They were so bright tonight. "I don't know what I'm going to do" my heart beat slowed, and I started to feel calm again. The night was just so peaceful. Even though my entire future was coming down around me, the world kept going.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"After I graduate. I don't know what I'm going to do"

"What do you want to do?" Thor, who had been running around the yard this whole time, finally stopped and curled up with his head on Phil's lap. I shook my head.

"It doesn't matter what I want to do" I said.

"Sure it does" Phil said confidently. "That always matters"

"It's not that simple"

"Why not?" I sighed.

"You don't understand what my family's like. They put this pressure on me to be successful. They act like if I'm not going to be a lawyer or a doctor or something that I'm a disapointment" I brushed my hair out of my eyes. "And I was okay with that. I put up with it for years. I was actually going to be a lawyer" I told him. "I was going to Uni and get a law degree, and I was going to meet a girl and fall in love. We were going to get good jobs, buy a house, have kids. Everything was going to be perfect"

"What changed?" Phil asked softly.

"I don't want that!" I shouted as I sat up. Thor barked in excitement at my sudden movement. "I don't want to be a lawyer! I don't want to meet a girl and fall in love! I don't want to go to Uni!" I put my hands in my hair and groaned loudly. Phil put his hand on my shoulder.

"That's fine" he said. "So don't do that. Don't do something just because someone else wants you to" I pulled on my hair, not even worrying that it was going to mess it up. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know" I said sadly. "That's so fucked up. I've been doing what my parents wanted for so long that I don't even know what I want"

"That's fine" he said reassuringly. "You don't have to have all the answers right now" I looked at him with wide eyes.

"I don't?" he smiled at me and put his arm around my shoulder. It didn't even bother me that we were not both pressed up against each other.

"No" I felt this weight come off my chest.

"Really?" I asked.

"Really! You can do what ever you want, whenever you want. If you don't want to be a lawyer, don't be a lawyer. You don't want to go to Uni, don't go" he shrugged. "Don't want to fall in love with a girl, don't fall in love with a girl. This is your life, Dan, do what you want with it" his words were strangely comforting.

"I wish I knew what I wanted"

"Don't worry. You'll think of something eventually. You've got years ahead of you, you've got time" Phil had such a good way with words. I can't believe I've never talked to him before. He was actually really nice, and not that weird. And there was just something about him that made me feel better. "Hey, maybe talking about it will help?" I wiped my nose on my hand, and nodded.

"Okay" he pulled away, and smiled at me.

"We can talk about it for as long as you want"

 

Five minutes later we were back on the lawn, with a blanket to sit on and two mugs of hot chocolate.

"Now," he said, pulling a half-empty bottle out of his pocket. "Let's talk" I took the bottle from his hand and looked at the label.

"Uh, what's the vodka for?"

"I find that vodka makes talking easier" he said. I took the top off and smelled it. "Trust me" I shrugged and took a sip straight from the from the bottle. I grimaced as it slid down my throat.

"Gross" I stuck out my tongue out. Phil laughed at me.

"You don't have to drink it if you don't want to" he started to reach for the bottle, but I pulled it away from him. I glared at the cup determinedly. I wanted everything to be easier. I took a deep breath, and chugged. I started to gag, and Phil took the bottle away from me. I wiped the back of my mouth and shook my head.

"Uh, that's awful" Phil bit his lip, trying to hold back a smile.

"I was going to suggest that we put it in the hot chocolate so it doesn't taste so bad, but..." he held the bottle up to his lips and drank. He didn't even cringe. My eyes widened, and I stared at him in disbelief. "What?" he asked. "I'm here alone 24/7. There's not much for me to do"

"...Okay" I shrugged. Phil dumped the remaining vodka into our two mugs.

"Alright" he said as he tossed the now empty bottle behind us. "Now lets get talking"

"Where do I start?" I took the mug of hot chocolate from him and held it in both hands, warming them up.

"Let's start with today" he suggested. "Why did you run away?" I tapped my fingers against my mug as I thought about the reason. I mean, there were tons of reasons. I just needed to think of the one specific one that made me knock my chair over and run out of the room.

"My mom and grandma were both talking about my future, like I was already gone" I finally said. "They were gushing about how smart I was, and how great it was that I was going to become a lawyer" I took a sip of my drink. "Then my grandfather asked me if I had a backup plan" Phil's eyes widened. "Yeah" I laughed shortly. "He asked if I had something planned in case 'the whole lawyer thing didn't work out'" Phil cracked a smile at my impression of my grandpa. "I think that's what finally did it"

"Why that?" he asked.

"Because I didn't. I don't have a back up plan. I don't even have a regular plan" I could feel my heart beating in my throat again. "I didn't get accepted to any Universities"

"Did you only apply to big schools with good law programs?" he asked. I nodded. "Yeah, you have to have really good grades to get into those. And you have to apply like really early" I grimaced. "You know, you can apply to a smaller school, like mine" I looked up hopefully. "I'm just going to do the basic classes you have to take, and then when I decide what I want to do, I'll take those classes"

"Wait, you can do that?" I asked. Phil laughed.

"Yeah, that's what a lot of people do. No one has everything figured out before they graduate" Oddly enough, this was news to me. I always assumed everyone had their shit together. That everyone knew what they wanted to do for the rest of their lives. I thought I was just weird, that I wasn't sure what I wanted.

"Oh" I looked down at the mug in my hands. I was learning so much about life tonight.

This is so not how I thought my night was going to go.

"Did you really think everyone knew what they were going to before they graduated?"

"...maybe" Phil shook his head in disbelief. "But wait, if I wanted to get into the same University as you, I would've had to send in an application like... months ago. Right?"

"I'm not sure, but you can always send it in for next semester. That way you have some time off to decide what you want" I liked that idea. What I didn't like, was the thought of having to be home for several months with my family.

"Yeah, okay" I was silent for a minute. Phil nudged my shoulder.

"What?" he said. "Do you not want to go to the same University as me?" I shook my head. Even though I hardly knew him, I knew that I wanted to go with him. There was something between us that I just couldn't explain. I felt like I could tell him anything, like I'd known him my whole life.

"No, that's not it. It's just... I'm going to have to go back to my family soon and tell them that I don't want to be a lawyer a- and then I'm going to have to tell them that I'm probably not going to Uni next semester, and that I'll be living at home. With them" I sighed and rubbed my eyes. "When did things become to complicated"

"I think you're making this more complicated than it needs to be" Phil said. I glanced up at him and made a face.

"How?"

"Well, you're over thinking it. You're trying to do too much at once. You don't have to tell them everything at the same time. Start with something easy, like... Tell them since you didn't get into any good law schools, that you're thinking about taking a semester off to try and apply to some new places" I nodded. That didn't sound too hard. "Then tell them that you weren't sure that being a lawyer is for you, and that you might want to do something different. If they ask you what, just say that you're looking at other things, but you're not set on anything yet.

"After a few weeks if you haven't actually decided anything, tell them that you've found a smaller school that some of your friends go to" he grinned. "And that you're going to take some general classes there" I smiled. He really had this whole thing thought out. "And by that time you might've decided what you want to do" I smiled reluctantly.

"God. That sounds so easy! How did you think of all that?"

"Easy" he said. "That's what I'm going to tell my parents. Well, it's slightly different to what I'm going to tell them, but mostly the same" my smile faded a little.

"What do your parents think you're going to do?" I asked.

"They think I'm going to be a doctor" he laughed. "Which was never going to happen. I mentioned once when I was nine that I thought stethoscopes were cool, and from that moment on they've thought I wanted to be a doctor. You have no idea how much money they saved for me for Uni" he shook his head, still smiling. I didn't understand him.

"You haven't told them yet?" he took a drink of his hot chocolate.

"I've tried" he said. "But they've been too busy to come home, and I don't really want to tell them over the phone, you know?"

"Yeah" I said quietly. I lived with my parents all the time I still felt like they never had time to talk. I couldn't imagine trying to talk with them when they were never even there.

We were both silent for a minute, and I leaned back to look at the sky. The moon was so bright, and the twinkling stars were amazing. I never thought about how beautiful they were against the night sky. "The sky is so pretty tonight" I said. "The stars are beautiful" I was starting to feel the effects of all the alcohol I had drank. My body was kind of humming. It was nice.

"Yeah" Phil said, but I don't think he was looking at the sky. "You know, I used to wish on stars all the time" I turned and smiled at him. I could just imagine him when he was little, sitting in the window sill of his room, staring at the stars and wishing for something. "I swear the things I wished for always came true"

"No they didn't" I laughed. He shook his head.

"They did!" his smile faded. "Well, they did for a while" he sniffed and set his now empty mug beside him. "They don't work for me anymore, but hey! Maybe they'll work for you" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"I'm not going to wish on stars" I said.

"Sure you are" he said confidently. "I'll even teach you the rhyme" I shook my head in disbelief.

"There's a rhyme for it?"

"Yeah! Didn't your parents ever teach it to you?" he asked me. I shook my head.

"No, I don't think so. How does it go?" I asked. I was just humoring him. There was no way I was actually going to wish on a star.

"Repeat after me" he said.

"No way"

"Repeat after me" he said again. I shook my head, but motioned for him to say it.

"Star light, star bright

The first star I see tonight;" he stopped, and I begrudgingly repeated it.

"I wish I may, I wish I might,

Have the wish I wish tonight" I watched Phil, who was now looking at the stars. He was strangely beautiful in this lighting. I don't know if it was just the night, or something that he had said, but it was like I was seeing him for the first time.

"Then you would wish on the first star you see" he continued. He pointed at a blinking star in the sky. "And your wish would come true" he smiled contently. I looked up at the stars, and locked my eyes on one. It was the brightest one I could see. And... it couldn't hurt to wish on it...

"My brother taught it to me when I was little" he pet his dog absently. "I remember, one time I wished that my parents would come home for Christmas"

"Did they?" I asked after a few seconds. I noticed that the star he had wished on had disappeared from view. I frowned.

"No" he said sadly. "But they were home for my birthday, which was just as nice. That was that Christmas was the day I stopped believing in wishing for things" I put my hand on his, which he had resting on the dog.

"You really don't believe in wishing for things?" I asked. He smiled sadly.

"You don't" he pointed out.

"I said I didn't believe in wishing on stars" I clarified. "But you really don't believe that wishes come true?"

"I really did when I was little. I thought I could do anything if I really wished for it" I leaned in closer to him, to try to get warm. Or, that's what I told myself.

"I think wishes come true" I whispered.

"Yeah?" I nodded slowly.

"You should try wishing for something" I told him. He smiled.

"If I'm going to be totally honest, I already wished for something" he leaned closer to me.

"Oh yeah?" he nodded. "What did you wish for?"

"If I told you," our noses were practically touching. "it wouldn't come true" I tilted my head forward, so our foreheads were resting on each other.

"You probably wished on a stupid satellite anyway" Phil leaned in, and closed the gap.

He kissed me.

I eagerly moved my mouth against his. He was so warm, and so real. He was here. And he was making me feel things I had never felt before. I'd never felt this way with a girl before.

One of Phil's hands was on my hip, and the other was around my back. I deepened the kiss, so our chests were pressed up against each other. I felt his heart beating wildly in his chest, and I'm sure he felt mine as well. Our teeth knocked together as we kissed sloppily. Phil turned so he was facing me, and we both heard a yelp. We broke apart, and saw that Thor jump up and prance back into the house.

"Oops" Phil said breathlessly.

I touched my lips softly.

"That was... nice" Phil said shyly. I smiled.

"Is that what you wished for?" I asked.

"No, actually I wished for world peace but that works too"

I shoved him.

"Shut up" then we kissed again. I rolled over so I was sitting on his lap, and I pushed him back with one hand, so we were lying flat on the ground. Our heads collided as we moved our mouths against each other. I gripped his shirt, like he was the only thing holding me down.

Every move we made was so needy.

I needed him.

I braced my arms against the ground, and felt the cold grass beneath my fingers. I moved my mouth down Phil's jaw, and started sucking on his neck. He made a noise that I assumed meant that he liked it. I tugged on him shirt, to try and get it off.

"Dan," Phil mumbled warningly. I ignored him, and started to lift it over his stomach. "Dan, stop" he pushed me back slightly, so he could look at me. I moved my hand back on the ground. "We should stop"

"Shut up"

"You don't want to do this" he said. I glared at him. What did he know?

"Yes I do" I said sharply. "I need to do this" Phil shook his head, and gently rolled me off of him.

"You're upset" he said. "If we do this, you'll regret it in the morning" I crossed my arms, suddenly feeling very cold.

"No I won't" I said quietly, not looking at him.

"Dan," he said softly. I felt my eyes weld up with tears.

"I'm sorry" my insides were a mess. On one hand I still felt nervous about tomorrow, and on the other I was starting to feel things for Phil. I wasn't sure what these things were, but they were very strong at the moment and made me want to kiss him until my lips were numb. And I was in a very vulnerable state, where I didn't know how to stop acting my feelings.

"You're just feeling a lot of things right now" he pulled me into a hug. "Today you realized the entire future you planned is something you don't want, and now you're scared. You're also stressed out, and pissed off at your family. Your body doesn't know what to do with all these emotions" he hugged me tighter. "And that's okay. You just need some time to think it all through"

I knew I was getting snot all over his shirt, but I couldn't bring myself to care. God, this was so embarrassing. One minute we were making out, and now I'm crying on his shoulder. He must think I'm a freak. "I should... probably go home" I said slowly. I pulled myself out of the hug, and wiped my eyes.

"Oh... okay" Phil frowned. "A- are you sure?" I sniffed.

"Yeah. My parents are probably worried about me" I stood up, and then looked down at Phil. His eyes shined brightly in the moonlight. He looked ethreal in this lighting. He looked beautiful.

"Okay" he stood up and grabbed our empty mugs. "Um, do you need a ride home?" I watched him bend over and grab the blanket off the ground. I could see the muscles in his back through his shirt. He looked increadible. How did I never notice before?

"Uh, yeah..." I chewed my lip as I thought hard about what I was about to do. I knew I wasn't thinking clearly. I was really emotional. But, I actually really didn't care in this exact moment.

I didn't want to go home.

I never wanted this night to end.

"Or I could..." Phil glanced up at me questioningly."I could call them and tell them I'm spending the night at a friends house" I suggested nervously. His eyes snapped up to mine.

"What?"

"I changed my mind. I can't go home yet" I said. Phil nodded.

"Okay" he frowned thoughtfully. "But you have to call your parents and tell them where you are. And that I'll bring you home in the morning" I hugged him tightly.

"Thank you" I whispered. He hugged me back. "For everything" before he had a chance to say anything, I quickly dashed into the house. 

 

I dialed my home phone number with a sinking feeling in my stomach. I didn't want to talk to them right now, but I had to get it over with.

"Hello?" my mom answered on the first ring.

"Mom" I heard her cover the speaker and whisper something.

"Dan, sweetie!" she exclaimed. "Where in God's name are you? We've been looking for you for hours!" I bit my lip guiltily.

"I'm... at a friends house"

"A friends house? You left in the middle of dinner to go to a friends house?" she said in irritation. I rubbed my temple. I did not have enough alcohol in my system for this conversation.

"Yes, Mom. I'm sor-"

"When are you coming home? You have graduation tomorrow, you know" How could I fucking forget. "And you're grandparents are here. They traveled all this way to see you, and you leave in the middle of a meal-"

"Mom-"

"And you didn't tell us where you were going. You just got up and left-"

"Mom"

"You didn't even have the decency to call! How were we to know that you weren't lying in a ditch somewhere? Or kidnapped-" I felt the anger boil up inside of me.

"MOM WILL YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME FOR A GODDAMN MINUTE" everything was silent. I didn't mean to yell at her, but sometimes I just needed her to listen. She never listened to me.

I heard something behind me, and saw Phil setting a full bottle of vodka on the counter. He held it up towards me, and I nodded. I was going to need that in a minute.

I cover my eyes with my hand and sighed. "Mom" I said calmly. "I'm sorry I left in the middle of dinner, okay?" she didn't say anything. "But I'm alright, and I need to tell you something" I took a deep breath. And dropped my hand. Phil smiled at me in reassurance. "I don't want to be a lawyer" she still didn't reply. "Mom?" She sighed.

"Okay" she said simply. I opened my mouth, and then closed it again.

"What?"

"If you don't want to be a lawyer, then don't be one"

"Wa- really? You're okay with that? You're not... disappointed?" she sighed.

"I might be a little disappointed, but if that's not what you want to do then I'm not going to make you do it. I don't want to force you to do something you hate" my shoulders sagged in relief.

"Oh"

"Why don't you come home so we can talk about it?" she said softly. "You can tell us what you really want to do, and we can get this all sorted out" I glanced over at Phil, who was rummaging around in the fridge. He had a look on concentration on his face. "Dan?" I shook my head.

"Uh," As much as I wanted to sort all this out... I looked at Phil, who was pouring the vodka into glasses of coke. Nope. There was no way I was leaving now. "No, I can't do that right now. I'm going to spend the night at my friends house, but he's going to drive me home in the morning" I heard her whisper say something to someone with her, and then she sighed.

"All right. But make sure you're here by nine. You're graduation is at noon, so you need time to get ready" I promised I would. "And Dan, I love you"

"I love you too" I heard Phil say 'aww' and I blushed, before flipping him off.

"I take it that went well?" Phil said after I hung up the phone. I nodded.

"Yeah, she said we can talk about when I get home. And that she's okay with me not being a lawyer if it's really not what I want to do"

"That's good" Phil was leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. I eyed the glasses behind him eagerly.

"Now let's get drunk"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A few hours later we were both lying in his sun-room, staring at the stars. Yeah. His house had a freaking sun room.

The empty bottle lay across the room, completely forgotten. I could still feel the bitter taste of the vodka in my throat. It tasted like shit, but it was very effective in making forget all my problems.

"W- won't your parents... notice th- that their vodka is gone?" I asked while staring intently at one of his Buffy posters. I was lying on my back and staring at it upside down, and it looked completely different from this angle.

"Nah" he said. He was lying on his stomach, running his finger across his bed spread. "They- they've never noticed before" his words were slurred, and I giggled at him. "Wha- what?" he frowned.

"You're cute" I said with a soft smile. He blushed.

"You're drunk" I scoffed.

"I'm not as think as you drunk I am" we both looked at each other and erupted into laughter. I rolled over so I was on my stomach, and pressed up against Phil's side. I put my head down and laughed into the blanket we had laid out. After our laughter subsided, Phil laid his head down and turned so we were facing each other.

"Hi" he whispered. I giggled again. I didn't even know I could giggled.

"Hi" he leaned forward so our foreheads were touching.

"You're cute too" I wrinkled my nose.

"You're breath smells like shit" I whispered back. He bit his lip to keep himself from smiling. "You're a happy drunk" I commented. He nodded.

"So are you"

"Give me five more minutes and I'll either be sobbing in your bathtub, or dancing naked on your kitchen table"

"Pl- please don't dance on my kitchen table" he said, sounding really concerned. "I eat there" I inched closer to him, and our noses rubbed together.

"I'm giving you eskimo kisses" I said breathily. Our eyes locked.

"They're not as- as good as real kisses" I don't know why we were talking so quietly. There was no one else around.

"Then give me your mouth" I tilted my head towards his, but I wasn't close enough. "I can't reach your face" he swiftly rolled the both of us over so I was on my back, and he was pinning me down. "Y-you're smooth when you're drunk" I commented. He smirked and leaned in to kiss me.

Where our kissing earlier had been forceful and urgent, this was soft and slow. Phil's lips moved against mine slowly as our hands roamed each others bodies. I opened my eyes and marveled at the way his face looked in the soft moonlight.

I put my hands in Phil's hair sighed into his mouth. Kissing him was the greatest feeling ever. He pulled his mouth off of mine and kissed down my jaw. I let out a breathy moan. He peppered kisses down my neck while simultaneously pulling my shirt aside, and kissing across my collar bones. I arched my back. God, that felt amazing so good.

"P- Phil" I moaned. "That f- feels amazing" he grinned against my skin.

"Good" he sat up a little and pulled my shirt over my head tossed it over his shoulder, and did the same with his own. I gently touched his chest, and ran my hands up his so they were resting on his shoulders. I let out a breathy sigh. He bit his lip and put his hand on the hem of my jeans. I licked my lips nervously.

I wasn't going to regret this in the morning.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It was still dark when I woke up. The sun was just starting to rise over the horizon, and the stars were fading in the sky

I was in Phil's arms, pressed up against his chest.

Last night was amazing.

I took a moment to look at Phil. He was snoring softly, his eyes fluttering. He looked so peaceful, sleeping there. Something in that moment clicked.

I was going to be okay.

No one was going to tell me what to do in the future. I was going to make all my choices by myself. Everything I did from here on out was going to be my choice.

I heard Phil mumble something in his sleep, and I smiled. 

I didn't know what my future held, but I knew he was going to be a part of it.

"'Morning" Phil whispered. I smiled.

"Good morning" we laid there staring into each other's eyes for a minute.

"Dan" Phil said after a few seconds of silence.

"Yes?"

"My wish came true" he said. I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Have we achieved world peace over night?" I asked sassily. He tapped me on the nose.

"No" I smile softly.

"What'd you wish for?" I asked.

"To not be lonely anymore" my lips parted. "I'm not lonely anymore" I didn't know what to say to him.

"I thought you didn't believe in wishing coming true?"

"I didn't" he laced his fingers through mine. "But I do now"

"I'm pretty sure you wished on a satellite" I pointed out.

"You don't know that for sure" he replied. I rested my head on his chest. For the first time in a long time, I felt content. I wasn't worried about the future. In fact, I was kind of excited to see what was in store for me.

"I'm pretty sure it was a satellite"


End file.
